You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
