The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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