did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
