Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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