His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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