Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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