I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
