I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She's the barista slut.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
