I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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