Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
