I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
