Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
