You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
