I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
