i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
