just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
