It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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