i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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