She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
