It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
