And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
