If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
