I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
