I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
