how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
