Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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