a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
