Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
