"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You can't just leave with hair like that
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
