That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
