What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
