Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
