need another drink. this is the easiest way
plz talk dirty to me
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
