Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
