I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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