You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
