i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
