I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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