so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How does one acquire holy water?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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