I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
