The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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