Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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