how can u be prego again
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
