But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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