I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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