Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
wow bdsm is so cute
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