We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
