So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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