Define "chronic" masturbator.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
