wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
