How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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