New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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