you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
