Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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