So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
