So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
